After quite a few meltdowns in a very short space of time, I decided I needed to get my arse to my doctor before things got out of hand. Well, even more out of hand than they already were. At first I thought I could manage it on my own. That I had the experience and knowledge to tackle the growing anxiety and depression which dominated every single waking moment of the last few weeks. Turns out I was very, very wrong.Read More »
As some people may know, I love lasagne. A lot. To the point where it’s almost an obsession. Yes, I understand there are other pasta dishes out there but if I prefer lasagne, then I will eat lasagne. Sadly, lots of lasagne means lots of weight gain…and this freaks me out. Learning to cope with these feelings is something they teach you at the EDU, and it’s something you work on every day, even during or after recovery. So, do you ever fully recover from an eating disorder?Read More »
That Saturday night was one of the most difficult nights of my life and this is one of the most difficult blogs I’ve written. That night, when I checked in on Brian, I found that he wasn’t his usual grumpy self. Normally he hisses and spikes up – his way of telling you to leave him alone. He’s a lot like me: socially awkward. When I looked in, Brian was lying on his side by the entrance to his igloo, just looking at me. Straight away, I knew something was seriously wrong.
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As much as people say I’m brave for stepping out and being who I am, I don’t feel it. I don’t feel brave, nor do I feel very confident. Do I feel some kind of peace? Yeh. Do I feel relieved at not having to live in denial? Definitely. Having to hide who you are purely because of other people around you, or because of how society views you is fucking shit. I know this through experience. But what about the people that don’t or never transition?Read More »
As some of you may know, I absolutely love pandas. I mean, what’s not to love about those bamboo-loving, forward-rolling little babes? They’re an icon. A symbol of hope and determination to just be themselves, regardless of what the world thinks they should do. They’re survivors too. Until recently they were critically endangered. Yeh, human intervention (such as dedicated sanctuaries and breeding programmes) have helped…but pandas still do things their way. Like me, pandas love to sleep too. Haha.Read More »