What’s going to happen now?
To be honest, not too much. I’m not getting boobs overnight!! Due to the way the NHS is set up, there’s very little funding for gender dysphoria. I’m on a waiting list for my chosen Gender Identity Clinic (GIC) after a trip to my doctor. Sadly waiting times can be around 18 months to 3 years. From day to day, I’m practically the same. If anything, you’ll probably just notice things that you never spotted or realised before. Feel free to read my blog posts or subscribe to stay updated. It’s been a hell of a journey so far and I’ve not always been in a good place, so apologies for any rants, distorted views of the world or those around me.
I’m a guy, so does this mean you find me attractive?
You do know that sexuality and gender are 2 completely different things, right? Just because I’m transgender, that doesn’t automatically mean I now find men attractive. If I thought you were a twat before, chances are I still think you’re a twat!! Hahaha.
So do you get your kicks from wearing female clothes?
Clothing doesn’t define gender. It helps, yeh, but only because society has conditioned us to think that boys wear trousers and girls wear dresses. I wear what feels right and what I think looks nice. The only times I’m cautious is when there’s a chance I’ll get stabbed for looking the way I do or for being myself!!
How do you know you’re not going to change your mind?
When you know something is right, it just clicks. After spending most of my life not doing the thing I should be doing, now that I’m doing it I know it’s right. Whereas I previously felt nothing but frustration, suicidal thoughts and confusion due to denial, I’m now feeling peace for the first time in my life.
When did you start to be transgender?
Nobody wakes up and thinks “You know what? I’m going to be female (or male) today”. You don’t get a choice. Let’s face it, would you choose to put yourself through loss, discrimination, prejudice and/or hate from those around you?
Are you seeing a therapist?
For gender dysphoria, therapy is more to support people in coming to terms with what’s going on and deal with challenges ahead. It’s not to “fix” them. This isn’t anything I’ve chosen and therefore it’s not something I can correct or control…and believe me, I’ve tried and nearly died so many times trying to control it.
Do you sit down or stand up to pee?
My best friend and I were actually discussing this!! Like the toilet issue, it’s a bit of a weird one. She had 1 simple answer: make the most of it whilst you can!!
I guess there are a few answers to this. Ultimately, it was supposed to happen now. From an eating disorder to suicide to addiction, I had to go through it all to be in the right place to acknowledge who I am. I also have the right people in my life, particularly the 3 who I could not have done this without. I owe them everything.
Have you been lying to me all this time about who you really are?
You never asked!! Ahaha. Seriously, I am sorry if people think I’ve been lying to them. It’s a difficult one really because I’ve always been me…I just look different whilst doing it. If that makes sense? My sense of humour, my ability to write or play music, my creativity for designs, the way I treat people doesn’t change.
Does this mean you now like the colour pink?
Don’t be a dick. Besides, nobody said pink was just for girls.
I always thought you were transgender. Or at least gay?
Well, good. Maybe you could have saved me quite a few months of heartache, confusion and suicide attempts. Haha.
What pronoun do I use?
“She” or “her” would be cool. But I understand it’s going to be awkward for those who don’t agree with this, so let’s compromise and use “they”?
What should I call you?
I know that some people will find it weird or difficult calling me Eva, and I don’t want anyone to feel awkward or bad about using my old name by accident. Technically Eva has been part of my name for a while now, so most people at least associate it with me. However, if you choose to not respect my wishes and still insist on calling me by my previous name, then I’ll simply ignore you!!
I don’t agree with what you’re doing so goodbye
That’s totally fine. I get that it’s not something everybody can understand and I’m not going to make you understand. This is something I need to do for me, not anyone else. The blog posts should hopefully explain the struggles I’ve faced in even coming to this decision so I’m not about to change that for anyone. I wish you all the best in the rest of your life.
Why don’t you just stay as a male and get counselling for it?
Because it’s not actually a mental health condition? This post should explain
Why are you like this?
I wish I knew. Before I accepted myself, I used to ask myself that all the time.
Which toilets do you use?
This is an awkward one due to how people perceive those who are different, which I tried to explain here. Using men’s toilets has caused problems/situations as some guys get offended or insecure about seeing me in there. Do they think I’m going to rape them?! If I use the women’s toilets, some women may think I’m in there to rape them. Either way, someone will get offended or upset. To be honest I try to avoid using public toilets wherever possible. In fact, I do all I can to avoid social situations for similar reasons, but that’s another story.
You do know you’ll never be a real woman?
Are any of us real?!
You’ll always be male, no matter what surgery you have.
Surgery doesn’t define your gender. Is a flat-chested woman any less of a woman?
When did you know you were transgender?
It first became obvious to me that something didn’t seem right when I was about 4. I was on holiday with my family, visiting relatives in the US. Despite what society thinks, kids are more self aware than they’re given credit for. I knew from an early age and it’s been haunting me all my life, until I decided to embrace it.
How can I support someone who is transgender?
Just don’t make a fuss and be respectful. It’s really that simple!! We’re all people, living on the same rock. No 2 people are the same. If in doubt, just ask them. Believe me, they’ll be really stoked that you took the time to ask. This page might help too.
If you have any other questions, just get in touch!!