Raining Bricks

Brick

So far in this blog, I’ve been through one hell of a journey trying to figure out who I am and why I’ve always felt the way I do. I’ve turned to alcohol, prescription painkillers and even reignited my relationship with an eating disorder. It’s turned me into a scared, anxious and confused person – even more confused than before I started this journey. And you know what? This is just the beginning.Read More »

The Beginning Of The End

Left Out

When I wrote about Laura Jane Grace and her decision to come out, I never stop to consider the other side of things. The inevitable side that always exists to bring balance: loss. Life happens and things change, there’s nothing we can do about it. But it’s more heartbreaking when I realise I’m the problem. I’m the reason why things have changed. Why things have been ruined.Read More »

This Is The Way That My Sadness Made Me

Lonely Panda

I feel so down right now. Just when I thought I was already at rock bottom, I sink deeper. There are moments when I think I should tell someone but then I snap out of it and realise I can’t. To tell somebody would be the end of this life as I know it. Until I know what the fuck is going on with me, I certainly don’t have anything to look forward to in a new life. If I told my wife, I would be destroying her world, just like that. I can’t do that to her. I love her too much. My best friend has a lot on as she prepares for the London Marathon in a few weeks. She’s stressing out about it as it is. I can’t put this on her too. That would be really fucking selfish of me.Read More »