Cause & Effect

Rocket Turtle

Regardless of what’s happened recently and what will happen, I feel I need to write this particular post about my other half. Even more so as I’ve been struggling so much over the last couple of days. Yeh, she isn’t interested in what’s going on but I don’t blame her. It’s tough on her too and she’s affected as much as I am. I am beginning to see why relationships can deteriorate, or even die out, as a result of this.

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Time To Wake Up

Wake Up

I wasn’t going to write this particular post but after a few days of thinking about it, I decided I should. This blog is about me confronting things, not hiding away or pretending they never happened. It’s about taking responsibility for my actions and my life, right? So yeh, I’m ashamed to say that I slipped up recently.Read More »

Raining Bricks

Brick

So far in this blog, I’ve been through one hell of a journey trying to figure out who I am and why I’ve always felt the way I do. I’ve turned to alcohol, prescription painkillers and even reignited my relationship with an eating disorder. It’s turned me into a scared, anxious and confused person – even more confused than before I started this journey. And you know what? This is just the beginning.Read More »

Too Old To Change, Too Young To Die

Tori Quote

Right now, I’m in a weird place. I really don’t know how to explain it, which is why (for some bizarre reason) I’m going to try. Maybe it’s desperation. I’m relying heavily on getting jacked up on painkillers to get me through the day but I’m down to my last few and I’m struggling to get hold of anymore, especially as they’re prescription strength (don’t even ask where I got the current ones from).Read More »

Sometimes Goodbye Is A Second Chance

I’ve lived a lot of my life with a plan B. When shit hits the fan and I can’t take any more, I’ll rely on plan B to put an end to all of this. A back up plan. Possibly even a second chance. But for whom? Well, for me it’d be a second chance to find peace and calm. An escape. No more constant torment or inner conflict to ruin each day. The real second chance is for everyone else. I can’t help but feel they would all be better off without me.Read More »