The End Of A Difficult Week

So the week finished with mixed feelings. At times I was ok, but I was mainly drowning. I’m at the point where I’m seriously considering going back to the doctor’s before anything crazy happens and I do something stupid. I’ve been trying to figure out what is that’s causing this, hoping it’ll give me a clue as to how I can fix myself. But in all honesty, I don’t really know. Each day gives me a new suggestion for why I feel like this – but nothing certain.

Outcast

As soon as I was old enough to move out, I did. I wasn’t getting on with my family at all. There was no communication, no understanding and any sort of love (if you could call it that) was deteriorating. They never really contacted me, nor did I contact them. We kept our distance from each other and got on with our lives.

What’s In A Name?

I’ve been feeling so low lately. Even more than I have been feeling lately. I guess the isolation is really starting to get to me. I may be surrounded by so many people, but nobody knows what I’m thinking or feeling. I can’t tell anyone either. There have been a few times when I almost did but I chickened out. There are 2 people closest to me that I’d tell: my wife and my best friend. Problem is, by opening my mouth, I will lose everything and hurt a lot of people I care about. Yet I’m happy to take my own life? Well, I’d like to think there’s a difference. Right now, it’ll be a miracle if I’m still alive by the end of this year.