Nice To Meet You

Name Definition

My name came about by accident really. I’ve always hated the first name my parents gave me and so I’ve always used the shortened version. Most people would call me by that shortened version but there were some people who didn’t give a shit about what I preferred (despite me even introducing myself by the shortened version) and just called me by my full name anyway. Disrespectful eh?

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One Step Closer

Reaching Out

On Thursday, we went to book our kitten on for his vaccination. As we came out from the vet’s, I bumped into a man hugging his dog. I was just about to say hello to the dog when I noticed the man was in tears. I didn’t hear exactly what he said, as he was so upset…the only words I could make out were “putting to sleep”. That’s all I needed to know. As I got into my car, I watched him tightly hugging his dog for one final time as he went inside. I was devastated.Read More »

A Big Step Towards The Unknown

Leap

Last night was probably one of the scariest nights I’ve ever experienced in my whole life. Emotional too. I know it sounds a bit dramatic but after everything that’s happened, it’s true. The last time I felt anything remotely close to this was having to admit to a doctor that I had an eating disorder. You may think saying something out loud is easy – after all if you can think it, you can say it…right? Wrong.Read More »

My Beloved Eating Disorder

Control

As it’s currently Eating Disorder Awareness Week, I thought it would be a good time to revisit what I went through, based on what I’ve discovered about myself recently.

Growing up, I struggled a lot. I was bullied for being Chinese, I was socially awkward (I still am) and had a really strict dad. I didn’t have many friends and I had trouble communicating with those around me. There was a lot about the world and my own life that I didn’t understand when I was a kid. I ignored it.Read More »

I’m A Fake

Imposter

Right now, that’s all I can think about. I’m a total fake. I’ve suddenly gone from less anxious in general to a sudden panic. I think realisation has hit me. People who know me are going to fucking hate me when they read this or find out how I feel. I know they will. By not being honest to them about who/what I am, is that not the same as lying to them? I should have told them I was messed up. That way they can make their own minds up about whether to include me in their lives. But I didn’t. I’ve misled people.Read More »