Following my pervious post, last week didn’t get any better. In fact, it started off in the worst possible way: I ended up having a complete meltdown. To be fair, with everything that has been going on, I was due one anyway…I just didn’t think it’d happen just yet or in the way that it did. I spent the rest of last week trying to sort my head and my leg out.
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So the week finished with mixed feelings. At times I was ok, but I was mainly drowning. I’m at the point where I’m seriously considering going back to the doctor’s before anything crazy happens and I do something stupid. I’ve been trying to figure out what is that’s causing this, hoping it’ll give me a clue as to how I can fix myself. But in all honesty, I don’t really know. Each day gives me a new suggestion for why I feel like this – but nothing certain.Read More »
So far this week, I’ve been really struggling again. My moods have been erratic and I’ve become so irritable. I’m spending every waking moment trying to stay positive and motivated but, quite honestly, I’m losing the energy to keep going. Fighting depression is difficult. Really fucking difficult. No matter what I do to snap myself out of it, I just sink deeper.
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From the moment I woke up today, I knew it was going to be difficult. I was irritable, emotional and lost. Last night, when I went to bed, I had so much enthusiasm for today. When I woke up early to try and have a productive day, I realise I felt different. I felt so empty and lonely. That enthusiasm had been stolen from me. Between last night and this morning, there’d been a massive change.Read More »
I’ve spent the past few days feeling a bit ambivalent about everything. I’m not entirely sure why. I honestly thought I was doing so well but instead it’s like I’ve taken a huge step back. My other half and I still haven’t spoken about it again, since I told her over a week ago. In fact, I’ve not really spoken to anybody about it. I’ve just gone back to being on my own.Read More »