So the week finished with mixed feelings. At times I was ok, but I was mainly drowning. I’m at the point where I’m seriously considering going back to the doctor’s before anything crazy happens and I do something stupid. I’ve been trying to figure out what is that’s causing this, hoping it’ll give me a clue as to how I can fix myself. But in all honesty, I don’t really know. Each day gives me a new suggestion for why I feel like this – but nothing certain.Read More »
So far this week, I’ve been really struggling again. My moods have been erratic and I’ve become so irritable. I’m spending every waking moment trying to stay positive and motivated but, quite honestly, I’m losing the energy to keep going. Fighting depression is difficult. Really fucking difficult. No matter what I do to snap myself out of it, I just sink deeper.
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From the moment I woke up today, I knew it was going to be difficult. I was irritable, emotional and lost. Last night, when I went to bed, I had so much enthusiasm for today. When I woke up early to try and have a productive day, I realise I felt different. I felt so empty and lonely. That enthusiasm had been stolen from me. Between last night and this morning, there’d been a massive change.Read More »
I’ve spent the past few days feeling a bit ambivalent about everything. I’m not entirely sure why. I honestly thought I was doing so well but instead it’s like I’ve taken a huge step back. My other half and I still haven’t spoken about it again, since I told her over a week ago. In fact, I’ve not really spoken to anybody about it. I’ve just gone back to being on my own.Read More »
Right now, I’m a mess. Panicking, anxious, scared, worried. All of that, plus more. Remember when I wrote about a wedding we were invited to? We got the invite a while ago and since then I’ve done everything I can to not think about it. I knew it was coming up soon and I’ve been dreading it. The only way I can cope is to run away from the very thought of it. Yeh, ignore everything to do with it. Deal with it another time. Slight problem though: because I didn’t want to think about it, I forgot to add it to my diary. Turns out the wedding is tomorrow.
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