That Saturday night was one of the most difficult nights of my life and this is one of the most difficult blogs I’ve written. That night, when I checked in on Brian, I found that he wasn’t his usual grumpy self. Normally he hisses and spikes up – his way of telling you to leave him alone. He’s a lot like me: socially awkward. When I looked in, Brian was lying on his side by the entrance to his igloo, just looking at me. Straight away, I knew something was seriously wrong.
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It’s been a really difficult few weeks since my last post, so my head has not been in the blogging game at all. I’ve really wanted to write and get it all out of my system but the truth is I don’t know what I’m feeling. It’s annoying and incredibly frustrating. I’m feeling it (whatever it is) but it’s not something I can even begin to describe.
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So the week finished with mixed feelings. At times I was ok, but I was mainly drowning. I’m at the point where I’m seriously considering going back to the doctor’s before anything crazy happens and I do something stupid. I’ve been trying to figure out what is that’s causing this, hoping it’ll give me a clue as to how I can fix myself. But in all honesty, I don’t really know. Each day gives me a new suggestion for why I feel like this – but nothing certain.Read More »
My head’s back to being a mess today. I didn’t sleep very well last night due to having so many thoughts. Another day closer to taking the first (big) step and my anxiety is going into overdrive. In an attempt to distract myself, I started to consider doing something about the negativity in my life – specifically the people I know on Facebook.Read More »
I don’t think I’m ok right now. That’s the conclusion I’ve come to since my last post. As much as some weight has been lifted from me by telling my best friend and (sort of) telling my other half, I still feel really unhappy a lot of the time. I wish I could turn it off, but I can’t. If anything, I’ve realised that telling people has brought about other problems and pressures too, along with a lot of uncertainty – something which replaces some of the previous pressure.Read More »