Well, it’s been 15 days since I had my forehead and scalp peeled away, my skull contoured and fat injected into my cheeks. Where did that time go??! All the swelling and bruising has gone, leaving me to get used to my new face. Considering what I’ve had done, you would think I still look like punched dough. But no. How come?Read More »
Transitioning is a fresh start. A chance to start down the correct path towards the destination of being your true self. As refreshing and relieving as that can be after years of hiding and/or denial, it’s not the thing that makes it all worthwhile. That honour belongs to others. It’s little things like those around you using the correct pronoun or name which really offers you something that’s always been a stranger: acceptance. You’re finally being accepted as the real you. Sadly, as much as other people can offer that, they can also take it away by refusing to use the correct pronoun or name – essentially denying you your identity.Read More »
That Saturday night was one of the most difficult nights of my life and this is one of the most difficult blogs I’ve written. That night, when I checked in on Brian, I found that he wasn’t his usual grumpy self. Normally he hisses and spikes up – his way of telling you to leave him alone. He’s a lot like me: socially awkward. When I looked in, Brian was lying on his side by the entrance to his igloo, just looking at me. Straight away, I knew something was seriously wrong.
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It’s been a really difficult few weeks since my last post, so my head has not been in the blogging game at all. I’ve really wanted to write and get it all out of my system but the truth is I don’t know what I’m feeling. It’s annoying and incredibly frustrating. I’m feeling it (whatever it is) but it’s not something I can even begin to describe.
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So the week finished with mixed feelings. At times I was ok, but I was mainly drowning. I’m at the point where I’m seriously considering going back to the doctor’s before anything crazy happens and I do something stupid. I’ve been trying to figure out what is that’s causing this, hoping it’ll give me a clue as to how I can fix myself. But in all honesty, I don’t really know. Each day gives me a new suggestion for why I feel like this – but nothing certain.Read More »