The End Of A Difficult Week

Isolated

So the week finished with mixed feelings. At times I was ok, but I was mainly drowning. I’m at the point where I’m seriously considering going back to the doctor’s before anything crazy happens and I do something stupid. I’ve been trying to figure out what is that’s causing this, hoping it’ll give me a clue as to how I can fix myself. But in all honesty, I don’t really know. Each day gives me a new suggestion for why I feel like this – but nothing certain.Read More »

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2 Days To Go…

Countdown - 2

My head’s back to being a mess today. I didn’t sleep very well last night due to having so many thoughts. Another day closer to taking the first (big) step and my anxiety is going into overdrive. In an attempt to distract myself, I started to consider doing something about the negativity in my life – specifically the people I know on Facebook.Read More »

The Opposite Of Ohana

Lilo

I don’t think I’m ok right now. That’s the conclusion I’ve come to since my last post. As much as some weight has been lifted from me by telling my best friend and (sort of) telling my other half, I still feel really unhappy a lot of the time. I wish I could turn it off, but I can’t. If anything, I’ve realised that telling people has brought about other problems and pressures too, along with a lot of uncertainty – something which replaces some of the previous pressure.Read More »

Emotion Sickness

Sad Danbo

A while ago, I wrote that my therapist at the eating disorder unit suspected my eating disorder was a secondary issue. That something else was going on. Something much bigger than just an eating disorder. In fact, she said the eating disorder had more than likely developed as a result of this “something bigger” having such an impact on my life. Her suspicion?Read More »

Too Old To Change, Too Young To Die

Tori Quote

Right now, I’m in a weird place. I really don’t know how to explain it, which is why (for some bizarre reason) I’m going to try. Maybe it’s desperation. I’m relying heavily on getting jacked up on painkillers to get me through the day but I’m down to my last few and I’m struggling to get hold of anymore, especially as they’re prescription strength (don’t even ask where I got the current ones from).Read More »