Master Of Puppets

Manipulation

I’ve felt more isolated and withdrawn from the rest of the world recently. I can’t talk to my other half as it’s still a topic that’s ignored and I don’t want to bug my best friend about. Instead, I have millions of thoughts inside my head with nowhere to go. As much as I’d love to talk confidently about this to someone and keep feeling the need to say more to people about me, a bad experience in the past makes me think twice.Read More »

Late To The Party

Late Bloomer

A few days ago, as I logged into WordPress, I spotted a post by Rosa Zambonini in the “Recommended Posts” section, about her transgender daughter, Charlie. In her post (and her blog) it’s clear that Rosa’s support for Charlie is amazing. However, there was a point she made that really stood out to me. Something that very few people actually acknowledge or even realise when it comes to the transgender community: practice.Read More »

The Opposite Of Ohana

Lilo

I don’t think I’m ok right now. That’s the conclusion I’ve come to since my last post. As much as some weight has been lifted from me by telling my best friend and (sort of) telling my other half, I still feel really unhappy a lot of the time. I wish I could turn it off, but I can’t. If anything, I’ve realised that telling people has brought about other problems and pressures too, along with a lot of uncertainty – something which replaces some of the previous pressure.Read More »

Emotion Sickness

Sad Danbo

A while ago, I wrote that my therapist at the eating disorder unit suspected my eating disorder was a secondary issue. That something else was going on. Something much bigger than just an eating disorder. In fact, she said the eating disorder had more than likely developed as a result of this “something bigger” having such an impact on my life. Her suspicion?Read More »

Hello Darkness, My Old Friend

Falling Apart

Last night, I crumbled. After a *really* rough few days of everything going wrong, I gave into temptation and downed some co-codamol. Not to kill myself this time (and clearly they’d do fuck all for any mental pain) but I just needed to get away from the present. Quite simply, I can’t cope. Everything is too much right now. Partly my own fault for having this dilemma, partly others for what they do, or don’t do. I guess some people will never fully realise the impact they have on others, even if it’s just for a split second. Now my focus, my relationship, my life…everything is falling apart.Read More »