Even Heroes Have A Bad Day

CONTENT WARNING: This post contains mentions of mental health difficulties and suicide, which some people may find triggering.

My mental health has always been a rollercoaster. And not the good kind either. I’m talking the old rickety type where safety is a complete unknown and the ride operator isn’t paying attention. Before I came out, it was full of unpredictability. I used to want off this ride and to be cured so desperately. I just wanted to be “normal”. But, as I’ve come to realise, there’s no such thing as normal.

Ana Wrecks Your Life

As some people may know, I love lasagne. A lot. To the point where it’s almost an obsession. Yes, I understand there are other pasta dishes out there but if I prefer lasagne, then I will eat lasagne. Sadly, lots of lasagne means lots of weight gain…and this freaks me out. Learning to cope with these feelings is something they teach you at the EDU, and it’s something you work on every day, even during or after recovery. So, do you ever fully recover from an eating disorder?

The Good, The Bad & The Really Ugly Days

Coming out as transgender doesn’t magically fix or make the gender dysphoria go away. It just…eases it. Slightly. It eases the pressure, allowing for a bit of breathing space so I can focus on my next move in this continuous battle. Most days are good, which makes things easier to manage. Some days are bad. Today was a really fucking bad day.