“I’m A Horrible Human Being”

I’m not sure why I feel this but there’s an overwhelming sensation inside of me which reassures me that I am. It’s not like I’ve killed anyone or messed up somebody’s wedding party or used people trying to live out some kind of arrogant mid-life crisis. Yet I have this feeling and it’s making me need to punish or stop myself.

The Good, The Bad & The Really Ugly Days

Coming out as transgender doesn’t magically fix or make the gender dysphoria go away. It just…eases it. Slightly. It eases the pressure, allowing for a bit of breathing space so I can focus on my next move in this continuous battle. Most days are good, which makes things easier to manage. Some days are bad. Today was a really fucking bad day.

The End Of A Difficult Week

So the week finished with mixed feelings. At times I was ok, but I was mainly drowning. I’m at the point where I’m seriously considering going back to the doctor’s before anything crazy happens and I do something stupid. I’ve been trying to figure out what is that’s causing this, hoping it’ll give me a clue as to how I can fix myself. But in all honesty, I don’t really know. Each day gives me a new suggestion for why I feel like this – but nothing certain.