The End Of A Difficult Week

So the week finished with mixed feelings. At times I was ok, but I was mainly drowning. I’m at the point where I’m seriously considering going back to the doctor’s before anything crazy happens and I do something stupid. I’ve been trying to figure out what is that’s causing this, hoping it’ll give me a clue as to how I can fix myself. But in all honesty, I don’t really know. Each day gives me a new suggestion for why I feel like this – but nothing certain.

Misery Never Goes Out Of Style

So far this week, I’ve been really struggling again. My moods have been erratic and I’ve become so irritable. I’m spending every waking moment trying to stay positive and motivated but, quite honestly, I’m losing the energy to keep going. Fighting depression is difficult. Really fucking difficult. No matter what I do to snap myself out of it, I just sink deeper.

That Sinking Feeling

From the moment I woke up today, I knew it was going to be difficult. I was irritable, emotional and lost. Last night, when I went to bed, I had so much enthusiasm for today. When I woke up early to try and have a productive day, I realise I felt different. I felt so empty and lonely. That enthusiasm had been stolen from me. Between last night and this morning, there’d been a massive change.

Late To The Party

A few days ago, as I logged into WordPress, I spotted a post by Rosa Zambonini in the “Recommended Posts” section, about her transgender daughter, Charlie. In her post (and her blog) it’s clear that Rosa’s support for Charlie is amazing. However, there was a point she made that really stood out to me. Something that very few people actually acknowledge or even realise when it comes to the transgender community: practice.

The Opposite Of Ohana

I don’t think I’m ok right now. That’s the conclusion I’ve come to since my last post. As much as some weight has been lifted from me by telling my best friend and (sort of) telling my other half, I still feel really unhappy a lot of the time. I wish I could turn it off, but I can’t. If anything, I’ve realised that telling people has brought about other problems and pressures too, along with a lot of uncertainty – something which replaces some of the previous pressure.