This Is The Way That My Sadness Made Me

I feel so down right now. Just when I thought I was already at rock bottom, I sink deeper. There are moments when I think I should tell someone but then I snap out of it and realise I can’t. To tell somebody would be the end of this life as I know it. Until I know what the fuck is going on with me, I certainly don’t have anything to look forward to in a new life. If I told my wife, I would be destroying her world, just like that. I can’t do that to her. I love her too much. My best friend has a lot on as she prepares for the London Marathon in a few weeks. She’s stressing out about it as it is. I can’t put this on her too. That would be really fucking selfish of me.

Introducing: My Family

No matter what, family will always be family. It can be a good thing or it can be a bad thing, there’s nothing you can do about it. In my case it’s a bad thing. Of all the problems I had growing up, communicating was one of them. Not simply because I’m from a traditional-thinking Chinese family and I naively ignored the chance to learn Chinese properly (I was born here in the UK, why would I need to know Chinese? Well, that’s what I thought) but also my parents had a restricted view on the world.