It’s Ok To Not Be Ok. Ok?

Venlafaxine

After quite a few meltdowns in a very short space of time, I decided I needed to get my arse to my doctor before things got out of hand. Well, even more out of hand than they already were. At first I thought I could manage it on my own. That I had the experience and knowledge to tackle the growing anxiety and depression which dominated every single waking moment of the last few weeks. Turns out I was very, very wrong.Read More »

1 Day To Go…

Countdown - 1

Ok, so tomorrow is definitely the day I go to my doctor. I’m excited, nervous and also freaking out. My anxiety is off the chart right now. I know it’s what I want and therefore what I need to do, but stepping into the unknown is always scary. As I was taught in therapy: the more I do it, the more it becomes…ok, and normal. Problem is, a part of me struggles to feel normal.Read More »

3 Days To Go…

Countdown - 3

Today is a slightly better day than yesterday. I think being back at work gave me something to focus on, so I didn’t have to drown in my own thoughts. In 3 days time, I will be going to see a doctor about all of this. They’ll be the first complete stranger I tell. I’m worried. Worried about how they’ll react, whether they’ll judge me or what they’ll even say.Read More »

Fuelled By Fear

Broken

Well this week has been a really tough one. As well as the terrorist attack, I’ve been ill and run down, plus I’ve been trying to pull myself out of this rut which I seem to have become stuck in. Not even being able to take paracetamol for how I’ve been feeling has made me feel even worse. But I only have myself to blame for that. Just the idea of taking something opens the door to wanting to take a fuck load of painkillers – especially to help me cope with this week.Read More »