Feeling The Love

The last couple of days have been completely surreal. To be honest, I’m still coming to terms with it. On Sunday night, I made the decision to change the photo on my social media profiles. It was a constant reminder of the wrong me, so it’s something I’d been thinking of doing for a while – I just couldn’t decide on an alternative photo. Given the positive support I’d received from my new Instagram profile, I decided to use the photo from that. To be perfectly honest, I didn’t think anyone would notice. They did.

I never thought of myself as somebody that people would notice. I’m too used to being a drummer: staying at the back, just getting on with stuff. However people did respond. Slowly at first but then more and more people saw it. That’s when I panicked a bit. However most people didn’t seem very surprised at all. Should I have been shocked by that?! What really shocked me was the immense support and encouragement though. I was so overwhelmed. I won’t lie, I still am. From comments about being myself to saying I should offer makeup tips to publishing my blog, I was really touched. Whether it was a comment on my new profile photo or a private message (even both in some cases), people showed me I was wrong to think I’d be hated for this and it’s renewed my faith in people.

Click image to enlarge

 

Click image to enlarge

As much as the attention was on me and my decision, I’m careful to remember that this affects my other half as much as it does me. It also affects those I interact with on a regular basis. I totally get that it’ll take time for everyone to adjust. I also get that this isn’t for some people and they will choose to walk away. Whatever happens, I’m doing this. I need to do it for me. If I can help raise awareness or help others along the way, then even better. In fact a few people have been in touch to share their stories or ask questions, which is nice.

To finish with, I just have a message for everyone:
I cannot even begin to describe how worried I was about clicking “Save” but deep down I knew it was the next logical step and the only way I can totally be myself. You have all been so amazing for accepting me, I can’t thank you enough. In the last 48 hours, you’ve all helped me to begin erasing years of judging looks or ignorant comments. You’ve given me a freedom that I could never give myself, even when I finally accepted who I am. I know it’s a big thing to ask of you all, as you’ve known me as my old (incorrect) self, and I get that people may be worried about slipping up or whatever…but to be honest, nobody has. I’m so grateful. Thank you for being a part of my journey and for allowing me to be me.

Featured image: via Google