Whilst talking to my best friend about how I’ve been feeling lately, she told me about a family friend whose son had transitioned (or in the process of transitioning? I didn’t catch that part) from male to female. Bear with me now as it’s going to get confusing talking about people involved using only pronouns!! I could use names, but at the end of the day the people involved have a right to anonymity. So the family friend only found out about her daughter and how she felt because they happened to bump into each other at the doctor’s. Since then, she’s been so supportive of her daughter and stood by her. Sadly, her husband isn’t as supportive. In fact, he’s very against it – which leaves her caught between supporting her own daughter or her husband. Nobody should be given that sort of dilemma to live with. Despite not being her biological dad, he openly criticises it his step daughter’s choice. In his opinion, it’s wrong. But that’s the thing: it’s only his opinion. A small-minded, ignorant and poisonous opinion belonging to a disrespectful person who has no right to criticise or judge others based on his own opinion. His attitude is what’s wrong, not what his step daughter is going through.
When my best friend told me about this, I was feeling all sorts. I was angry, upset, inspired and positive…all at the same time. I was angry and upset because the husband was exactly the sort of person who creates negativity and hate. Yes, everybody has a right to an opinion…but that’s where it should end. Opinions are the reason why there is so much hate in the world. Everybody has one, so there’ll always be conflict and some kind of hate. It’s how we handle differing opinions that makes us. We may come across things we don’t agree with, and that’s fine. Just respect those who do like it and leave it at that. Don’t force your opinion on others. It’s people like him and the many others that stare or judge that make people like me feel scared to do anything. Scared to be ourselves and scared to live. Whilst society is changing constantly, they refuse to change. They see no reason to. They are not in the wrong. I’ve met a lot of people like him and nearly all will blame the world going mad or whatever excuses their tiny little minds churn out. Fact is, they’re gradually becoming the minority. Eventually they will die out, taking their medieval opinions with them. Until then, they make life hell for others. They make life hell for me. I cannot be myself because I’m scared. Simple as that. Scared to put myself out there to be judged and criticised. I’m already an easy target because of the way I look, and it feels awful. Why make myself an easier target?
Despite this husband being a complete twat, his step daughter doesn’t let it get to her. It must have been tough for her to make that choice to go ahead and be herself. That takes a lot of courage and she has my total respect. That’s why I also felt inspired. She stood firm and continued to be who she is, despite his ignorance and the ignorance of people she will encounter everyday. Despite not showing it, I’m sure it take its toll on her mentally but to still put herself through that is an amazing thing. Support is everything. Support is what gets you through the dark or difficult times. With the support of her mom and others around her, she can find happiness in being herself. Such an awesome thing to come out of such a negative environment.
I still don’t know what my other half thinks about all this. I can only assume her silence means she doesn’t fully approve or has decided it’s something she doesn’t want to know about. Yeh, it destroys me to think that…but she is entitled to feel how she does about it. She’s entitled to her opinion and, at the moment, it looks like she’s chosen to not impose her opinion on me. I totally respect that. This affects her as much as it affects me. It would be nice to know what she is thinking though. As I’ve always said: for any relationship to work, there needs to be good communication. Though I no longer fear my wife finding out, I now fear what’s going to happen between us. Anxiety and depression are returning for another go at me, whilst I feel lost, struggling with where my life is headed. I know how I feel but I don’t know if I should do anything about it.
I’m really glad my best friend told me about this. Yeh, it made us both angry that somebody could be so disrespectful but the inspiration outweighed that. It came at the right time for me too as it really helped to pick me up, especially after how I’ve been feeling lately. With support, I’d like to think there’s some kind of hope ahead of me, no matter how I choose to deal with this now.
Featured image: via Google