One Of The Guys


Here’s a question: why is it that guys love women who can be “one of the guys”?? They make such a big thing about it don’t they? Whether it’s playing sport, playing in a band, drinking a shit tonne of alcohol and getting wrecked, playing video games or just generally doing things which are normally associated with male behaviour. Yet it can’t be the other way round: a guy can’t be one of the girls. Oh, fuck no – certainly not from a male point of view anyway. They’d be called gay or a freak…or seen as a complete disappointment to the male population. Let’s not forget what happened to James Charles. So what is it about being female that males really fucking hate or see as inferior??! And why are females only “accepted” when they’ve proven themselves to be like men?? It’s such a fucked up situation. Quite simply, there’s nothing to prove!!

Ok, before we go any further, I just want to say that all the views in this post (and this entire blog, for that matter) are my own and/or from my own observations. My opinion, born from the way I think. I don’t know why I think this way, I just do. I guess you could say some of my views are a bit feminist. I’m not entirely sure why. Maybe I’m, disillusioned by gender equality or maybe it is because of how my brain works. I have no fucking clue. So bear that in mind before continuing, ok?!

To me, it seems the “one of the guys” mentality comes from men. As if they’ve created this bizarre club initiation or status. Women don’t really give a shit if men are like them or not. Is it a form of dominance? In a modern world where sexism has no place and equality is promoted, it could be seen as a bit of a passive aggressive move. On the surface, it’s a bit of a laugh. “Ah she’s really cool, she’s just like one of us” and all that…but she’s only cool because she’s displayed the attributes of a male. Had she not, she wouldn’t have been cool, right? Do men feel threatened by women who can do what they do, without needing to be masculine? I bet they aren’t threatened when the woman in question isn’t wearing very much. Speaking generally, men are fine and no longer threatened when the situation appeals to another part of them: sex. Let’s use Supergirl as an example. The idea of Supergirl would never appeal to men but put her in a revealing outfit and suddenly it’s a different story: she’s more accepted by a male audience. Is this a base coping mechanism that exists within all guys? In caveman times, it was all about being strong. Leading, fighting and protecting, whilst there was no place for the weak. Survival of the fittest – something which still exists in the animal kingdom. As the world changed, it was no longer a case of being fit or strong. You needed to be smart too (some people clearly never got that memo!!)…in fact, mental strength and intelligence displaced physical strength. So with this shift, is that why males still feel the need to find ways to get one up on females? Whilst the male population are busy trying to stay ahead, the female population just wants equality. Yeh, let’s not forget that men are also objectified by women (think annual calendars of firemen holding puppies) but nowhere near as much, and certainly not for the same reasons.

It’s almost like to retain some kind of upper hand, there are rules to follow. Males seem to govern those rules. I’d even go as far as saying heterosexual males. For example, men love it when women kiss other women. It’s a turn on. It’s allowed. Now replace the women with men…suddenly it’s not allowed and it’s no longer a turn on. Instead (heterosexual) men are disgusted. Do women mind seeing other women kissing each other? No. Do women mind seeing men kissing each other? No. Bit one-sided huh? What is it with some males not being able to tolerate the same stuff? I’m sure “way of thinking” plays a huge part. Typical scenario: single men going to a bar/club on a night out will certainly by checking out the women in there. They’re out with a purpose: to find a mate. They’ll even go as far as picking out who they like the look of. Within this kind of male group, they each pick out a female. More than one male picking out the same female is not allowed. It’s an unwritten rule. Obviously there’s always a dominant one. He leads the pack. If they are unsuccessful with their chosen one, they re-evaluate and then simply pick another…as if they’re picking out a car. This scenario is even worse in places like Magaluf or Ibiza. Men are driven by very different things to women. When single women go out, they do so to be sociable. To enjoy themselves with their friends etc. Finding a partner isn’t generally their main intention and they certainly don’t hop from one to another as soon as they get rejected. This difference could be put down to the needs of men and women being different. Society will no doubt help to shape those needs.

I want to make it absolutely clear that I’m not saying every male (or female) is like this. If you’ve been offended by or don’t agree with anything I’ve said, sorry. It’s all just observation. You only have to look at the “lad” culture to see that it happens. It’s not meant to create divide or hate – it’s just me trying to examine differences between male and female behaviour around me, and to determine where or how I fit in. More importantly, it’s my way of externalising what is going on in my head so I can (hopefully) figure out why the fuck I think or act differently to other genetic males. My world is still full of confusion, despite all the posts so far. Maybe if I can figure out why I think differently, I’ll be able to figure out which side I’m supposed to belong to.

Featured image: via Google

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