Excuse Me God, There’s Been A Terrible Mistake

Ctrl Z

Last night, I had a bit of a meltdown. The news of someone taking their own life stirred up a lot within me. A lot of old thoughts, a lot of new thoughts. A lot that I’ve touched upon in this blog. Being the analytical person I am, I couldn’t help but feel like I could have done something to help. To spot the signs or to intervene. After all, I feel those same thoughts every day…how did I not recognise them in somebody else?Read More »

An Escape Route Of Old Routines

Whilst at work today, I found out that somebody I know died a couple of days ago. It was a huge shock. I wouldn’t have said they were a close friend or anything, more somebody I would deal with each week or so because they came to our studio. During those times, and over the course of 3 years or so, we got to know him. What hit me even harder was that he took his own life.Read More »

This Is The Way That My Sadness Made Me

Lonely Panda

I feel so down right now. Just when I thought I was already at rock bottom, I sink deeper. There are moments when I think I should tell someone but then I snap out of it and realise I can’t. To tell somebody would be the end of this life as I know it. Until I know what the fuck is going on with me, I certainly don’t have anything to look forward to in a new life. If I told my wife, I would be destroying her world, just like that. I can’t do that to her. I love her too much. My best friend has a lot on as she prepares for the London Marathon in a few weeks. She’s stressing out about it as it is. I can’t put this on her too. That would be really fucking selfish of me.Read More »